Parenting isn’t easy. It’s hard enough just making sure your child eats healthy, gets enough sleep, takes baths, and that he or she is physically safe. These are all basic needs parents must meet. This gets harder as children grow because they become more emotionally complex and their needs change. But you can’t hold their hands forever. There will come a day when a child must face life’s challenges alone. Raising healthy children means raising resilient kids—teaching them how to overcome adversity.

Resiliency is the ability to deal with these difficulties and recover in an appropriate amount of time. Everyone faces difficulties in life. But being resilient means those difficulties don’t define you. Call it grit, fortitude, tenacity, or whatever you’d like. But resiliency is about trying and failing, and then getting up and trying again.

This is easier said than done though. Building resilience in kids often means not rescuing them from uncomfortable (but not actually dangerous) situations. As parents, your instincts are to protect your kids at all times. And when you see them struggling, it’s hard to resist the urge to step in.

What follows are reasons why, and advice on how, to raise resilient kids.

How the Brain Deals with Stress

Let’s start with the basics about uncomfortable, stressful situations. The brain and body deal with stress and adversity differently than they handle normal situations.

Your heart rate and blood pressure go up. Cortisol, a stress hormone, floods the body. Adrenaline gets pumped into the blood. These are all evolutionary holdovers from your ancestors, when stressful situations could literally mean life or death. But this fight-or-flight response was only meant to last a short amount of time. When these chemicals are continuously released, detrimental effects can take place.

It starts in the amygdala—the part of your brain responsible for emotions, survival instincts, and memory. The amygdala responds to the stressful stimuli by sending a distress signal to the hypothalamus. The hypothalamus sends a message to the autonomic nervous system that signals a messaging cascade that triggers the release of a chemical cocktail (including adrenaline and cortisol). This response often impairs the prefrontal cortex, which controls executive functions. That includes problem solving, attention, impulse control, and emotional regulation.

In the short term, this is an extremely powerful survival mechanism. There are times when you can’t think about what happens next, and you don’t need any check on your ability to act quickly. Long term, you want your prefrontal cortex running smoothly.

If you were to define resilience on the physiological level, you would say it’s the ability to activate the prefrontal cortex following adverse situations. This also means stemming the release of the chemical cocktail. If this occurs, an individual can increase their ability to recover from or adapt to stressful situations and adversity.

How to Model Good Communication and Coping Strategies for Kids

There are many ways to build resilience in children, but it starts with you. Your children are always watching. And they’re constantly absorbing information during their developmental years. It doesn’t make much sense to preach to children about dealing with difficult emotions if you struggle with them yourself.

Everyone makes mistakes. Having a level head when plans go off the rails can show kids how to handle failure. And if you don’t handle something the way you wish you could have, own up to it. It’s OK to admit a mistake, and in doing so, subconsciously give your child permission to do the same. Have a conversation about it. You can say something like, “I’m sorry I got so angry earlier. I made a mistake. Next time, I will try to be more patient.”

Communication and support are key to coping with stress and raising resilient kids. It’s not necessarily rugged individualism that builds independence in kids. Instead, it’s the unconditional love and support of an adult in their lives.

Relationships are the single most important thing in a child’s life for emotional development. If your kid is having trouble, they have to know they can come to you for help.

So, ditch the phone and spend some quality time with your child. When you’re home together, make it a priority to focus on them. Talk about the issues kids are facing. And let them know it’s OK to ask for help. Also, don’t be afraid to show them your stress coping strategies when you’re going through tough situations.

Raising Resilient Children Means Honoring Their Emotions

Before you had children, you may have had a rosy outlook on parenthood. The media is quick to sell the joys of parenting. And your friends post pictures of magical days at the beach and park where everyone is happy and smiling.

That’s not always reality. It’s hard to prepare for epic meltdowns, temper tantrums, and the refusal to sleep. But these are all a normal part of growing up, and are NOT the exception.

Sometimes parents view these difficulties as problems that need to be fixed. Maybe you chastise your kids, send them to their room, or blame them for simply feeling an intense emotion. Whatever your reaction, it can be easy to teach your kids that sadness, frustration, or anger are not tolerated.

Being resilient means understanding that some emotions, particularly those often tagged as negative—like heartbreak, despair, and anger—are all very human. These aren’t emotions you should run away from, or try to stuff down because they’re too tough to deal with. Rather, try to honor the emotions, and understand why you’re feeling a certain way. Teaching kids to feel and understand these emotions in a healthy way is paramount to children’s mental health.

Labeling emotions can be a useful way to develop emotional intelligence and resilience. Let kids know it’s all right to feel anxious, afraid, or sad. Although they can be powerful in the moment, these emotions usually pass—especially if you can talk about them with someone you love.

Establish Reasonable Boundaries with Empathy

You’ve probably heard the term “boundaries” in relation to parenting. And you may have had a difficult time dealing with what happens when your child crosses them. What’s important is that boundaries exist in the first place.

A predictable routine and a firm set of rules in the household creates a structure children can rely on. Whether it’s around bedtimes, eating dinner, homework, or screen time, structure reduces uncertainty and can help reduce anxiety. You can’t hope to be an effective parent without boundaries. But establishing these guardrails doesn’t mean you can just ignore how your child is feeling.

Kids tend to learn quickly what behaviors get them what they want. So, when the inevitable happens, and your child tries to see how far she can push, you have to hold the line. But that doesn’t mean you can’t approach those moments with compassion.

You can still be there for your child and listen to how they’re feeling, while continuing to say “no.” Talk about the feelings both of you are having, and explain why having the boundary is important. This can go a long way towards teaching emotional intelligence and strengthening your relationship.

Let Kids Skin Their Knees

When your children first start to walk, you tend to never stray too far from their side. It can be hard to let go of this instinct as they grow older. You might follow them around the playground, making sure they don’t fall off the ladder or be there to catch them every time they go down the slide.

In the short term, this is great. And it can’t be emphasized enough how important being there for your child is when he or she is facing a serious crisis. Sometimes you need to help your child stand back up.

The trick is to not do it every time. Learning early on to deal with pain and discomfort that doesn’t have dire consequences makes kids more likely to develop the ability to handle more serious difficulties later in life. A study from Cornell University in 2017 even suggested that early exposure to manageable stress can increase activity in the prefrontal cortex.

Mitigate, But Don’t Eliminate Risk

Dealing with fear is one of the most difficult and empowering skills you have. As a parent, you want to keep your kid safe, but not at the expense of exposing them to new—and, therefore, potentially frightening—experiences.

It can be hard to resist the urge to hover over your children, and offer up solutions to all of their problems. You want to protect your children from feeling pain, even if pain has much to teach. A scary experience can make your child nervous about risks he or she may face in the future. But most failures aren’t life threatening. If kids approach risk with cautious optimism, often they will find themselves better prepared for challenging situations that may arise.

Sometimes children will take risks and experience a negative outcome. Maybe they fall off the ladder on the playground, or crash their bike. They learn that skinned knees and bruises can hurt, but the pain doesn’t last a long time. As a result, resilient kids dust themselves off and try again. Scrapes and bruises don’t become a roadblock for learning a new skill and having fun. The anxiety children might have felt before becomes manageable.

Without this exposure to risk, even small fears can paralyze children. Sure, it might be fear of physical pain at first, but it can easily expand to anxiety around school, social issues, and money when a child grows up. By facing risk and the consequences associated with it, children learn the coping mechanisms needed to confidently and rationally manage risk.

They might have a hard time differentiating something that is dangerous from something that is simply unknown. Kids may never see how truly strong, confident, and resilient they’re capable of being. So, let the kid ride a bike, and take off the training wheels when he’s ready—even if it means falling down and getting angry. Just make sure he wears a helmet.

Develop Kids Executive Functioning Skills

As children grow older, their prefrontal cortex develops more and more. As this happens, kids learn to control their behavior and feelings. They also develop new ways of dealing with adversity. It is possible to jumpstart this process and set them on the path to being a happy, healthy young adult.

Exercise is one of the most important components in developing executive functioning skills. This helps develop the brain and supports growing cognitive functions. During exercise, the brain releases neurochemicals that can help calm anxiety in times of stress. Getting kids outside and moving is always a good idea, especially when it will contribute to their problem-solving skills.

Playing board games is also a great way to develop the prefrontal cortex. Board games require patience, strategy, memory, and mental dexterity. It’s also a great way to bond with your kids. Just make sure to let them win every once in a while—and make losses teachable moments.

Find opportunities where kids can make their own decisions and exhibit leadership. Maybe one night they choose what the family has for dinner, and even help cook! Have children choose and plan a weekend activity. Let them choose what instrument or sport they want to play. Even give them input in the classes they take. The possibilities are endless. Just make sure that once kids make a decision, stick with it.

Encourage children to think independently. This doesn’t mean encouraging arguments with you all the time. But make sure to welcome a discussion when you may have a different opinion than your child. Occupying a position where kids have to think critically is a wonderful exercise for executive functioning. As long as they’re being respectful, it is OK for children to question authority and offer up different points of view.

Always Stay in Their Corner

Raising resilient kids can be just as challenging for the parent as it is for the child. You will both fail. That’s OK! But no matter what happens, love your kids unconditionally, and always be there to support them whatever happens. Taking a step back and letting them find their own way can be difficult. But in the long run, this will lead to a more resilient, confident, capable, and fearless young adult.

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The year is 1665. The Taj Mahal in India was completed 12 years ago. In a little over a year, Isaac Newton will witness an apple falling from a tree, sparking an idea. And somewhere in London, the architect and natural philosopher Robert Hooke places a thin slice of cork into the specimen holder of a microscope. When he looks through the eyepiece, he sees a strange structure.

“I could exceedingly plainly perceive it to be all perforated and porous, much like a honeycomb, but that the pores of it were not regular,” he writes. “These pores, or cells … were indeed the first microscopical pores I ever saw, and perhaps, that were ever seen, for I had not met with any Writer or Person, that had made any mention of them before this.”

Hooke has discovered the cell. Plant cells to be specific. He actually coins the term, writing that they remind him of the cells occupied by Christian monks in a monastery he once visited. These cells are dead though, and his microscope is not powerful enough to see inside the cell. It’s not until 13 years later that someone would see a living cell up close.

Using a more powerful microscope of his own design, Dutch businessman and scientist Antonie van Leeuwenhoek would first observe bacteria and protozoa. He called these single celled organisms animalcules, Latin for “little animals.”

Hooke is long gone now, buried somewhere in the City of London Cemetery. He took the first steps towards what is now refer to as cell theory. This is the understanding that every living organism on the planet is composed of one or more cells.

Cells are the integral unit of structure and function in all living organisms. Every cell that has ever existed came from pre-existing cells that have divided, and divided, and divided, all the way to the 37.2 trillion cells that make your body.

The Two Different Types of Cells

Cells can be split into two main types—prokaryotes and eukaryotes.

Prokaryotic cells do not have a nucleus. Those “little animals” that Leeuwenhoek witnessed were prokaryotic cells. Bacteria, and another family of cell called archaea, are classified as prokaryotic.

The cells that exist in plants and animals are called eukaryotes. This type can be either single-celled or multicellular.

Approaching the Cell

But what makes up a eukaryotic animal cell? If you could shrink down to the size of the cell, and even smaller, what would you see?

Imagine you’re getting smaller and smaller. The world around you gets larger and larger, eventually blurring out of view. As you shrink, you start to focus in on a group of structures, like the little cages that Hooke witnessed long ago.

Soon enough you come to one cell in particular. Now, some cells are more complex on the outside and have accessories other cells lack. Microvilli are one such feature.

Microvilli extend like fingers from the surface of the cell, and are important in the absorption of nutrients. They also greatly increase the surface area of the cell without affecting its overall size.

Cilia extend even further than microvilli, and can actually push different substances along the surface of the cell.

Then there is the flagellum, which is a thin, tail-like structure that can actually propel an entire cell, enabling it to swim!

The Plasma Membrane

All cells rely on the all-important plasma membrane. This acts like a fence, keeping the contents of the cell together while also letting food and nutrients pass through.

The plasma membrane is made up of a double layer of fatty acids called phospholipids. These fatty acid molecules have a head and a tail. The head is what is called ‘hydrophilic,’ meaning it’s attracted to water. The tail, meanwhile, is hydrophobic—repelled by water. This combination of head and tail is what makes the structure and function of the cell membrane possible.

As you get smaller, you pass through the plasma membrane, and journey into the cell. Briefly, you can see the double layer of phospholipids, like a zipper held fast by the chemical attractions of their hydrophobic tails.

Cytoplasm and Cytoskeleton

Once fully inside the cell, you encounter a medium called the cytoplasm. It contains a substance rich in amino acids and potassium, called cytosol. This solution is also referred to as intracellular fluid.

You can also make out a network of what looks like webs or scaffolding. This is the cytoskeleton. It provides structural support and allows the movement of materials inside the cell. The cytoskeleton is made up of three different types of protein fibers called microfilaments, intermediate filaments, and microtubules.

Microfilaments are the smallest of the three, made of twisted strands of proteins that can be pulled together to shorten the cell. This occurs often in muscle cells, and aids in their ability to contract.

Intermediate filaments are twisted strands of proteins that mainly provide framework for the cell and help hold it together.

Microtubules have a spiral shape. When put together, they form a hollow cylinder. These cylinders help maintain cell shape and move organelles (another name for cell parts) within the cell.

They form what is called the centrosome. The centrosome is made up of structures called centrioles which organize microtubules and provide an additional framework for the cell. They also aid in the separation process during cell division.

Between the cytoplasm and the cytoskeleton, you can see the primary support framework of the cell. You can also see several strange-looking structures. These are the organelles. These important cell parts all have specific functions they carry out.

The Endoplasmic Reticulum

The first structure you can see looks like a collection of several long, thin caverns. These are the endoplasmic reticulum (ER). There two different types of ERs.

The first is the rough ER, which extends from the nucleus and has ribosomes attached to the outside of its membrane, giving it a rough appearance. These ribosomes produce what are called polypeptide chains. That’s just a fancy way to say proteins. The proteins created by ribosomes are released into the ER, where they are processed and prepared for release into the cell. When released, the proteins are transported inside enclosed membrane sacks called transport vesicles that pinch off from the rough ER.

It’s important to note that ribosomes are not organelles. They are vital to cells, though. That’s because they’re the protein-producing factories. They can either be floating in cytosol en route to somewhere else in the cell, or attached to the rough ER. Ribosomes are comprised of two components called the small and large subunits. The small subunits read the ribonucleic acid (RNA), which contain instructions on how to assemble the amino acids into polypeptide chains. The large subunit does the heavy lifting of actually assembling the polypeptide chains.

Next you see the smooth ER. This is another organelle with a membrane, but it doesn’t have ribosomes, hence the “smooth” moniker. The smooth ER contains enzymes that alter polypeptides, produce lipids and carbohydrates, and destroy toxins. Most of the lipids and cholesterol that make up cell membranes are made in the smooth ER.

The Golgi Apparatus

Shifting your focus, you encounter the Golgi apparatus, definitely the coolest name of all the organelles. The Golgi apparatus is another membranous organelle that modifies, packages, and stores proteins.

It looks like a group of larger and larger cisterns expanding out from its center. Transport vesicles deliver proteins to the Golgi apparatus from the ER. As the proteins move throughout the cisterns of the Golgi, they are modified. This can happen by adding or rearranging molecules with different enzymes. Sometimes carbohydrates are added to form what are called glycoproteins.

After moving through the last cistern, proteins are cordoned off in a different vesicle called the secretory vesicle. Most of these proteins are directed toward the plasma membrane. They either become part of the membrane, or are released outside of the cell.

Lysosomes

The Golgi is fundamental in the production of lysosomes. These are vesicles that pinch off from the Golgi apparatus and function as the garbage trucks of the cell. Lysosomes are enclosed by a membrane and contain digestive enzymes that pick up cellular waste or defective organelles to be recycled or converted to waste. They are also vital in protecting the cell from bacteria and viruses.

Proteasomes

Passing out of the Golgi apparatus, you come across the proteasomes. These organelles manage the existing proteins in the cell. They are found throughout the cytoplasm. Proteasomes break down abnormal or misfolded proteins and normal proteins the cell doesn’t need anymore.

Another protein called ubiquitin is placed on the proteins marked for recycling by enzymes in the cytoplasm. The targeted proteins are then pulled into the proteasomes and broken down by a process called proteolysis. In this process, the peptide bonds of the proteins are broken. The leftover peptide chains and amino acids are then released into the cell to be recycled.

Peroxisomes

Moving on, you come across a curious structure called a peroxisome. While not technically an organelle, and not technically an enzyme, peroxisomes can best be described as protein complexes.

They have a membrane, and are also pinched off from the ER. Peroxisomes are responsible for breaking down long-chain fatty acids and amino acids. In this process, they can produce the byproduct hydrogen peroxide, which can be dangerous to the cell because it can react with many substances. Because of this, peroxisomes also carry an enzyme that converts hydrogen peroxide into water and oxygen. Talk about cleaning up after yourself!

Mitochondria

Once past the peroxisomes, you spot a baked-bean-shaped organelle called a mitochondrion (when there are many, they’re called mitochondria). These are the hyper-efficient power plants of the cell. They take food particles brought into the cell and convert it to a molecule called adenosine triphosphate, or ATP. This is known as the “currency” of the cell. ATP is capable of storing and transferring energy to other parts of the cell.

Mitochondria have both an inner and outer membrane, and their numbers can vary depending on the type of cell. Typically, the more active a cell is, the more mitochondrion it will contain. Liver cells, for example, contain thousands of mitochondria. In the cells that make up your muscles, aerobic activity can actually increase the number of mitochondria. No wonder you have more energy when you exercise frequently.

The Nucleus

Finally, you arrive at the nucleus. The largest of all the structures in the cell, the nucleus has two membranes forming what is called the nuclear envelope.

Along with small pores on the surface of the membrane, this envelope encloses the nucleoplasm. While the nuclear envelope functions as a wall, the pores act as a gate that lets certain molecules in and out of the nucleus. Nucleoplasm is similar to the cytoplasm of the cell. It is a syrupy substance that suspends the structures contained within the nuclear membrane.

Suspended in the nucleoplasm is the nucleolus. It is comprised of deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), RNA, and protein. The nucleolus is the birthplace of ribosomes, which, remember, make proteins vital to the functioning of healthy cells.

As you get smaller, you can start to make out the twisted double-helix structure of the cell’s DNA. You reach out, trying to touch it, closer and closer, smaller and smaller. And finally, you make contact. In a flash, you return to your previous size, not sure whether or not you actually touched what you were reaching for.

Somewhere in the grassy fields of the City of London cemetery, the first light of a brand-new day strikes a freshly germinated seed of grass. The cells of that seed, enriched by the good earth and sun, divide and divide, sending forth a tiny shoot into the cool morning air.

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https://bitesizebio.com/166/history-of-cell-biology/

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http://www.mrc-mbu.cam.ac.uk/what-are-mitochondria

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You’re driving along the road on autopilot, hardly paying attention, and then a nearly perceptible swerve. HONK! HONK! Your neck jerks. Your eyes snap to alert. And your hands grip the wheel. Another driver had laid into their horn, bringing you back to reality.

Whether you’re behind the wheel or in the passenger seat, the scene is scary. But it’s all too familiar.

Learning to drive involves a slew of safety tips, routines, and considerations. But perhaps the most impactful tidbit is limiting or avoiding all distractions.

And what’s true on the road is also true at home. Just like fiddling with controls and music in the car can jeopardize safety, distractions during quality family time can be just as costly at home. Instead of connecting meaningfully, you might crash and burn.

Spending quality time to connect with family and loved ones is enjoyable. But the new norm of constant interaction with technological devices puts those personal connections at risk. When you don’t make intentional choices to take breaks from your screens, your familial (and other) relationships can suffer.

So, before discussing technology’s role in the crash, let’s take a closer look at family relationships and the quality time required to maintain them. 

Quality Family Time: Curating Connections with Your Clan

When each person is fully present and offers their undivided attention to others, that’s quality family time. Going back to the driving analogy, quality family time is what ensures a smooth, safe, and enjoyable ride.

But it might be hard to achieve with the blur of busy schedules and technology. Tackling the dual threat of busyness and distraction is tough. So, first let’s focus on the variable of time.

You probably have family or close friends with whom you want to become or stay close. Conflicting schedules and shrinking free time are challenges embedded in that endeavor. Parents and partners might have busy, full-time work schedules. And if you have kids, they’re likely busy with school, extracurricular activities, friends, and hobbies. It can be difficult to find where you and your loved ones’ schedules align.

The good news? Despite jam-packed days, you can maximize the free time you do have.

Some researchers argue it’s not quantity of time with friends and family that matters. Quality is the goal. This means it’s more impactful to spend a focused hour with a loved one rather than several hours without fully engaging.

Consider reading and discussing a book with a family member, only for an hour. While it may seem short, it’s efficient. Like a bullet train, this approach is a smooth, enjoyable ride with no traffic jams, stoplights, or distractions.

Such an activity carries more weight than the alternative: sitting next to one another, in silence, watching movies. In this instance, the activity is longer, but the connection is lacking. Instead of a short, smooth ride, it’s more like a long road trip down a bumpy road. You’re there with someone you love, but the ride can wear on all the passengers.

The destination in both cases is the same: time spent with family. But the route to get there can look different. Route planning is worth it, and your connections will deepen because of your effort.

Tips for Creating More Quality Family Time

You’re ready to hop on the quality-time train, but don’t know where to start. The thing is: there’s no right way to do it. You can get creative. Quality family time doesn’t have to be serious or complex. Simple activities and just catching up can do the trick.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

  • When conversing, pay attention by being an active listener. Active listening isn’t just about hearing. It also involves eye contact, body language, and reflection. Eye contact lets the speaker know you’re present. Body language can show you’re intentional and a willing participant. This could be as simple as leaning in, squaring your hips toward the speaker, or keeping your arms relaxed rather than crossed. Lastly, use reflection in your responses. Reflection can be a simple paraphrase of what you’ve heard the speaker say. This lets them know you’ve heard and understood, what they’ve said. It can deepen the connection and invite further conversation.
  • Build a playlist together and have a listening party. This is an especially fun idea if you do it with someone who’s much older or younger than you. Crossing over into the culture of another generation can be fun and help you better understand one another.
  • Establish your own family traditions. You can set aside time each week or month to dedicate to a family activity you do consistently. This could be board games, cooking competition nights, days at the museum, or other family outings like bike rides or hikes.
  • Work as a team. Assign every family member a chore (parents included!) so everyone lends a helping hand. Holding everyone accountable to their tasks will help build a sense of responsibility and pride.
  • Schedule alone time with each child or family member. That’s because conversations flow more easily with fewer competing voices in the room. Also, put phones and devices away to make room for deeper conversations. Taking interest in what your child says builds trust and shows you’re invested in their well-being. This trust builds the likeliness they will turn to you when times get tough and they need support.

Technology’s Impact on Quality Family Time

Now let’s focus on the distractions—those things that pull your eyes and attention away from the road, endangering everyone in the car with you. Or with family, these distractors steal your presence and pull your attention away from your loved ones, possibly harming relationships.

Most of today’s distractions involve technology: phones, laptops, TVs, etc. The technology is useful and entertaining, but these devices can have major downsides.

Screen time steals your attention, taking you out of the conversation or activity at hand. Let’s say you only pull out your phone to check it quickly, but do so repeatedly. For those few moments, you miss major aspects of active listening mentioned above: eye contact and body language.

It’s also important to understand how constant technology use can affect the user. There’s plenty of research on the topic.

One study examined a large, random sample of data (over 40,000 respondents) representing how young children and adolescents (ages 2-17) interact with screens. They also looked at the resulting effects of technology on the respondents’ psychological well-being. Screens included cell phones, computers, gaming systems, and others.

Researchers found one hour of use per day was not problematic. In fact, an hour a day seemed to be a “sweet spot.” Those who used screens for about an hour each day experienced the same measure of well-being as those who didn’t use screens. In other words, minimal use barely constitutes a major distraction. Instead, light screen usage can be likened to the necessary adjustments needed to make a car ride more enjoyable—a quick adjustment of the AC or the radio volume.

The drop-off in psychological well-being only occurred after the one-hour mark was passed. With more than an hour of use per day, respondents reported feeling less curious, more distracted, and less emotionally stable. They also reported having a hard time making new friends.

In those 14-17 years old, specifically, heavy screen users (seven-plus hours per day vs. one hour per day) were more than twice as likely to have been diagnosed with depression or anxiety in the previous year. Back in the car, this type of prolonged distraction would result in a white-knuckle ride or even a car wreck.

Now consider these adolescents in the context of their families. If the teens are battling technology-induced anxiety and depression, their ability to fully show up and be present for quality family time is impaired, too. And if their family members are also turning to their screens, the support system the teens need isn’t accessible when they need it most.

Adults’ usage should also be put under the microscope. As journalist Erika Christakis puts it, “More than screen-obsessed young children, we should be concerned about tuned-out parents.” Over the years, parents have increased the amount of time they spend with their kids. However, as you learned before, that time is not necessarily quality time.

Linda Stone is a researcher who coined the term “continuous partial attention” (or CPA). It’s an appropriate descriptor of technology’s effect on the attention of both parents and children. Stone says operating in this way allows individuals to always be “on”—always available and accessible.

While this can be good in some circumstances (being alert and aware), it can also be detrimental. If you’re always “on,” you can experience high amounts of stress and anxiety. This can lead to feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated. And being in that state can make it difficult to connect meaningfully with your family and loved ones.

So, what can undo the harmful effects of unlimited screen time? David Rock, author of “Your Brain at Work,” suggests taking a break from technology—completely disconnecting. He argues that going offline can help improve your concentration. One study found that constantly checking devices (to monitor emails, social media feeds, and text messages) is associated with elevated stress levels. Taking a break from your devices and disconnecting may help lower your stress levels. And when you’re less stressed, you’re more likely to pursue and enjoy quality family time.

Finding Family and Overall Well-Being

So why does all of this matter? Research shows familial relationships are extremely influential to an individual family member’s well-being across their lifespan. This goes in both directions. If the family environment is toxic, family members’ well-being is negatively impacted. Conversely, if the family ties are strong and supportive, then each person will experience a boost in their well-being.

This is largely because family is key to social health and provides resources for each of its members. Family or close friends act as a wellness hub. They can offer emotional support, lend physical assistance if needed, or provide referrals to other caregivers. It may also come in the form of support through life’s stressors or encouragement to engage in healthier behaviors. Not having access to a family network can minimize the number of resources available to you.

Imagine the driving metaphor again. You’re back in the car and you want to make it to your destination safely. The best way to do this is to buckle up and limit distractions. You can equate positive family relationships to the safety belt: it can ensure you maintain your health (social, emotional, and physical). And limiting distractions—screen time and other technology—allows you to focus on the road ahead: pursuing quality family time to sustain each of your family members day-to-day.

About the Author

Jenna Templeton is a health educator and freelance science writer living in Salt Lake City, Utah. After receiving a bachelor of science degree in chemistry from Virginia Tech, Jenna spent five years as a research scientist in the nutritional industry. This work fueled her interest in personal wellness, leading her to pursue a graduate degree in Health Promotion & Education from the University of Utah. Outside of work, Jenna enjoys live music, gardening, all things food, and playing in the Wasatch mountains.

https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=all-family-time-is-quality-time-1-1808

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201812/what-difference-does-quality-time-make

Twenge JM and Campbell WK. Associations between screen time and lower psychological well-being among children and adolescents: Evidence from a population-based study. Preventive Medicine Reports. 12 (2018): 271-283.

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Turns out watching your tongue should apply to more than just your words. There’s a lot that doctors—and you—can tell about your overall health just by looking at the color, size, and texture of your mouth’s unsung hero.

You already know that your tongue is essential for tasting and digesting food and for articulating speech. But because your tongue is such an integral part of several important bodily functions, paying attention to its appearance and changes can help alert you to larger health issues early. This is one reason your doctor has you stick out your tongue during annual physical exams. And why your dentist may inquire about your hydration or hygiene after one glance at your tongue.

In general, a healthy tongue is dark pink, moist, firm, and covered in small bumps called papillae. If your tongue’s appearance deviates at all from this norm, consider the following five concerns your tongue might be trying to warn you about.

1. Dehydration

When your body is dehydrated—meaning it doesn’t have enough fluid to function optimally—one of the earliest symptoms is a dry tongue and mouth. This is because your body decreases the amount of saliva it’s producing in an effort to conserve fluids. In addition to experiencing a dry mouth, lack of adequate saliva can also affect your ability to break down any foods you may eat. And it can lower your ability to keep teeth healthy, too.

The immediate solution to dehydration is obvious: drink more water. The Food and Nutrition Board of the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine (a U.S. organization) recommends that men consume 15.5 cups (3.7 liters) of fluid per day and women should aim for 11.5 cups (2.7 liters). Keep in mind that these numbers include all daily fluid intake, from both food and liquids. Also consider that circumstances like hot weather or exercise will require you to consume more fluids to stay hydrated.

Most healthy people can stay hydrated simply by drinking fluids when they feel thirsty. Neurons located in the brain are involved in monitoring food and beverage intake and blood levels to regulate thirst by sending hormonal messages that induce drinking. And taste buds send messages back to the brain about the ingested fluids before they reach the bloodstream to signal that thirst has been quenched.

In some cases, though, simply drinking more liquids may not do the trick for solving the dry mouth issue. Dehydration, while a common cause, isn’t the only condition that can trigger dry mouth. Certain medications, medical treatments, or health conditions may also be responsible for making your tongue feels like it’s been marooned in a desert.

2. Changes in Your Oral Microbiome

There’s bacteria and all manner of microbes in your mouth—and your tongue certainly isn’t exempt. At first, that might seem gross. But you have to get used to it, because your oral microbiome is an important part of a healthy mouth.

And if you’re wondering how the balance of your oral microbiome is doing, take a look at your tongue. If your tongue appears normal, it’s a good sign, pointing towards a healthy balance of microbes making their home in your mouth.

When your tongue looks like it has a white coating, it might be time to spend some energy on your oral microbiome. That probably means taking more care with your oral hygiene. (And checking out the tips for a healthy tongue you’ll see below.)

3. Immune System Alert

So many parts of your body play a direct or supporting role in maintaining immune health. Your tongue has a tangential tie to immune health through its role in digestion. But it also can be a red (or white) flag.

If your immune system is struggling—from any variety of normal, occasional lifestyle factors—your tongue will tell you. Some of the signs are similar to those mentioned in the oral microbiome section above.

Normally, your immune system doesn’t just let too much of anything set up camp on your tongue. Yeast is a great example of this. There’s probably always some of these tiny foreign invaders in your mouth and on your tongue. But your body’s defense system is set up to prevent too much yeast from living in your mouth and on your tongue.

When your tongue is coated in white, that could be an indication your oral microbiome is out of balance. And it’s a good idea to support it with immune-helping habits.

Your doctor can also tell, just from looking at your tongue, if you have a couple of different issues going on. So, if you notice your tongue being really red, have a health-care provider take a look. (Unless you’ve just consumed some red food or drink—in that case, you’ll be OK.)

4. Nutritional Deficiencies

Your tongue helps you taste, enjoy, and even properly digest your food. But if you aren’t eating enough of certain nutrients, your tongue could tell on you.

When your tongue is deep red, it might be time to adjust your diet. So, take a look at your intake of two vitamins (B12 and folic acid) and one mineral (iron). All these essential nutrients are readily available in a healthy diet.

Vitamin B12 can be found in seafood, beef, and eggs. Folic acid (also known as vitamin B9) is in legumes, broccoli, and spinach. And if you’re looking to add iron to your diet, go with poultry, organ meats, beans, and nuts.

5. Excessive Stress

Turns out stress wreaks havoc throughout your body. And your tongue can’t escape the ravages of stress, either.

Tongue redness is one hallmark of stress. Canker sores and stress ulcers on your tongue could be a sign that you’re stressed. If your tongue is scalloped around the edges, that could mean you’re consistently biting your tongue in reaction to stress.

And your taste buds aren’t immune from the strain of life. Researchers suggest your taste buds are impacted by stress, as well.

So, practice self-care to help alleviate some of the stress in your life. Your mind, body, and mouth will all benefit.

Don’t Forget About Proper Hygiene

Aside from good nutrition, adequate hydration, and not smoking, the best thing you can do for your tongue is to practice good oral hygiene habits. Try these tips to help keep your tongue happy and healthy.

Scraping

You already know you need to brush your teeth at least twice a day (bonus points for brushing after every meal). While you’re at the sink, why not add the quick extra step of scraping your tongue? Use an inexpensive plastic or metal tongue scraper to swipe one or two times per area down the length of your tongue. Go from back to front, being sure to wipe or rinse off any debris in between each scrape. In addition to removing bad-breath-inducing bacteria, research suggests scraping your tongue twice a day might also improve your sense of taste.

Brushing

Does the thought (or actual action) of scraping your tongue make you gag? You can get some bacteria-killing action by making your toothbrush multitask. Brush your tongue vigorously in multiple directions after you’ve given your teeth a good scrub. Just don’t get too crazy—you don’t want to damage your delicate taste buds or the mucosa (that’s the pink tissue that covers your tongue).

Oil Pulling

A few small studies have found that an ancient practice of swishing oil around in your mouth for up to 20 minutes once per day can reduce odor- and certain decay-causing bacteria, when done consistently as part of a complete oral hygiene routine. Oil pulling, as it’s known in Ayurveda, is typically done using cold-pressed oils like sunflower, sesame, and coconut. Oil pulling can help keep your tongue healthy by eliminating bad bacteria, but it can also help symptoms of dry mouth and chapped lips. If you’re someone who experiences discomfort when using alcohol-based or other full-strength mouthwashes, oil pulling might be a gentler alternative for you to try. When you’re done swishing, spit the oil into a lined trash can (don’t spit oil down your sink!) and rinse your mouth with water. (There is no scientific evidence the practice whitens teeth, pulls toxins out of the body, or treats any disease.)

Listen to Your Tongue

The tongue is more than just the muscular organ that lives in your mouth. It can also be an invaluable prognosticator when it comes to other health issues. In order to heed any warnings your tongue might be sending you, though, you need to pay attention to it and take good care of it.

Stick your tongue out and examine in the mirror its color, shape, size, and texture frequently and alert you doctor if you detect any unusual changes. And don’t forget your tongue during your oral hygiene routine! Because it’s an instrumental tool for your digestive system and speech, giving it a little extra love is well worth the effort.

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https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-your-tongue-can-tell-you-about-your-health/

https://www.piedmont.org/living-better/what-your-tongue-can-tell-you-about-your-health

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https://www.healthline.com/health/stress-ulcer#stress-and-ulcers

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Healthy family habits are key to raising healthy kids. Children look up to their parents as role models. So, it’s important to give them an example of a healthy lifestyle to follow.

Healthy eating and exercise are two habits lots of individuals focus on. And while personal health goals are great, getting your family on board is even better. Also, broadening your family’s scope of healthy habits to include all aspects of your lives is a good idea. Include habits like brushing your teeth, wearing a helmet, and washing your hands.

As kids get older, it can be challenging for them to reverse the habits they’ve already acquired. So, don’t wait another second to work on healthy habits with your kids. They’ll pick the good habits up fast and have a lifetime to practice.

Flip through the slideshow to find 19 ideas to work on as a family. Pat yourselves on the back for the work you’re already doing. Make a note of the suggestions you want to tackle together.

  1. Make Your Bed

This simple task often gets overlooked, but it’s a great habit to get into. A freshly made bed helps you and your kids start the day on a positive note. And it makes for a neat and relaxing bedroom at the end of a long day.

Track how often you each make your bed on a chart for your whole family to see. You can have fun making this a habit by having bed-making races or competitions. Showing your kids your well-made bed will help them understand how important this daily ritual is to you.

  1. Wash Your Hands

Hand washing is perhaps the most important habit for your health. By washing your hands after using the bathroom and before every meal, you keep germs at bay. So, it’s important to teach your family how important hand washing is for staying healthy.

Parents should remind kids often throughout the day to wash their hands. Little kids who have trouble washing their hands on their own may need a stool to help them reach the faucet. Also, show your children how to properly wash their hands by scrubbing with soap and rinsing with warm water for at least 20 seconds. Germs can spread from person to person and they can make people sick. Teaching this important habit can help stop the spread of unhealthy germs to help families and communities stay healthier.

  1. Eat Breakfast Every Day

Your family can start every day with a healthy habit by always eating breakfast. The morning meal is often the first thing to go when a busy day looms. Take a stand for healthy habits and make sure your family eats breakfast every day.

This is one of the best ways to combat overeating throughout the day. Breakfast fills you up early and delivers sustaining energy until lunch. If you need quick breakfast ideas to help get you in the habit, try hard-boiled eggs, a piece of fruit, or a slice of whole wheat toast with nut butter.

  1. Brush Your Teeth

Little kids might have a hard time remembering to brush their teeth twice a day. But this habit is critical for maintaining good dental health.

That’s because brushing your teeth whisks away plaque and bacteria deposits. Not allowing this build up on your teeth helps you maintain your oral health.

So, make it a habit to brush your teeth twice a day to keep your teeth and gums in shape. Two minutes per brushing session is the recommended amount of time. Try placing a timer in the bathroom to help your kids hit the two-minute mark. You can also sing a song or playing music to make brushing more fun for everyone.

  1. Tidy Up

Keeping your living space neat and orderly is a healthy habit everyone in your family can take part in. Spending time at home is always more pleasant when all your belongings are in the right place. And having a clean house can help take your focus off clutter and put it towards your loved ones and healthy living.

Show your little ones where their toys, books, clothes, and shoes can be put away. Help kids get in the habit of returning items when they’re finished. Cleaning up is also a great way to teach responsibility and respect for your belongings.

You can tidy as a team by setting a timer and cleaning for 10 minutes. Race to see how fast you can get your house in order. Give kids different jobs each day so they can learn to sweep, wipe, and dust. They’ll thank you when they’re on their own and know how to keep their homes clean.

  1. Turn Off the TV

Watching television can use up a lot of your family’s free time. Lounging can be relaxing in short sessions, but long spells can stall your productivity. It’s hard to be active and work on healthy living when the TV is on.

So, limit your TV time to an hour a day. Turn off the TV and find better ways to unwind as a family. Board games are just as fun and engage each family member. Plus they help kids build reasoning and problem-solving skills. Be a good example to your kids by suggesting you play together when they’ve had enough TV for the day.

You might even notice your sleep improve when you cut down on television. Spending time away from screens lets your eyes relax, keeps you from blue-light exposure, and helps you fall asleep easier, too.

  1. Get Moving

Speaking of ways to relax and play as a family—exercise checks both boxes. Having a regular exercise routine is a great habit to work on together. Instilling a love for exercise in their youth can set your kids up for good, lifelong physical fitness.

The movement doesn’t have to be complicated to get the benefits of regular exercise. That can be a driveway basketball game or dancing to your favorite songs. You can spend time together and get fit when you move as a family.

Shoot for 30 minutes of activity every day. If your schedules are tight you can sneak exercise in by walking to school or riding your bike to work. Brainstorm ideas as a family that’ll help you get in the habit of exercising daily.

  1. Find Adventure Together

Families that play together stay healthy together. Going on family-friendly adventures can make exercise a bonding experience for you and your loved ones.

Recreating in nature is a fun way to check out local scenery and spend time as a family. Hiking, biking, fishing, and rock climbing are a few outdoor adventures your family can embark on.

  1. Wear Protective Gear

Safety is part of healthy exercise habits. Demonstrate the safe way to play by wearing protective gear when appropriate. If your kids see you gearing up for a bike ride, they’ll want to do the same.

Make it a habit to put on your helmet, shin guards, or elbow pads before you go out to play. It’ll save you from getting injured and show your kids how to stay safe.

  1. Stay Protected From the Sun

Sunscreen is the best way to protect your skin from sun damage. Kids and adults alike need sunscreen before playing outside. Make applying it automatic.

Show your kids how to put on their own sunscreen. You can find kid-friendly, mineral-based sunscreens that are gentle on their delicate skin. Remind each other to reapply every two hours when you’re outside. And get in the habit of wearing a hat to stay protected from the sun.

  1. Eat the Rainbow

Healthy eating is an excellent habit to work on as a family. You eat together often, so start focusing on healthy foods as a team.

Looking at the color of your food is a great way to make sure to get the nutrients your family needs. Whole foods are vibrant. Bright reds, deep purples, and dark greens make food interesting to look at and good for you.

The color of your fruits and veggies tell you what kinds of vitamins they can add to your diet. Yellow-colored foods are great sources of vitamin C. Vitamins A and E live in red and orange foods. Green foods pack calcium, iron, and other important phytonutrients.

Work together to put many different colors on the dinner table. A salad with mixed greens, tomatoes, avocado, red onion, yellow peppers, and cucumbers hits lots of colors on the spectrum and is nutritious to boot.

  1. Skip Soda, Choose Water

This is a great, simple healthy habit to start with. That’s because healthier choices are readily available and easy for adults and kids to understand.

You already know soda and sugary drinks ruin your teeth and diet. So, make the switch to water (or milk for kids) as a family. To help this habit stick, keep soda out of the house. Order water with your meal (and milk for kids) when you eat out. Show your kids you mean business by staying clear of soda and providing healthier options that support growing kids.

  1. Try New Foods

If your family’s go-to meals are getting stale, try expanding your palette. It’s hard to keep up healthy eating when you have the same foods over and over. Fatigue sets in. Luckily there are lots of ways to change it up and keep healthy eating interesting.

Adding spice to your food will change the flavor dramatically, without altering its health benefits. Garlic, cumin, pepper, and paprika add a little spice to vegetables like sweet potatoes. Turmeric, parsley, or cilantro in brown rice amp up the flavor.

You can also try preparing some of your favorites in a different way. For instance, oatmeal is a great option for breakfast. But during warmer months you might not feel like chowing down on a bowl of hot food. Rather than abandoning healthy oats for a donut or pastry, try overnight oats instead.

To make overnight oats, mix a handful of oats with yogurt, milk, chia seeds, and a drop of honey. Let it sit in the refrigerator overnight. When it’s time for breakfast, you have a cooler option. You can even slice bananas or chop berries to add to your oatmeal parfait.

  1. Plan and Prepare Meals Together

When your family has a meal plan, you’re more likely to stick to eating healthy. Life gets busy and things come up. But don’t let convenience overwhelm your healthy eating habits. Try prepping food in advance so you have a quick, healthy option on hand.

Kids can help by choosing what meals they’d like to have for dinner. Encourage them to come up with meals that include a lean protein, veggies, and whole grains. Write your dinner plans down on a calendar in plain view. That way everyone is aware of what meal they’ll be enjoying that day.

You can also meal prep as a family. Cooking protein in bulk is a great way to speed up the dinner-making process. Your kids will love being included in the kitchen. Show them how to wash vegetables and season proteins like chicken or fish. They’ll relish the responsibility of helping make dinner and enjoy their food even more.

  1. Learn to Read Labels

It’s tricky to understand what the labels on your food tells you. So, sit down with your family and figure it out together. When you learn how to read the nutrition labels on your favorite snacks, it’s easier to choose healthy options.

Take a box of breakfast cereal, for example. The calorie content is usually at the top of the label and tells you how many calories (energy currency) are in each serving. Note that a serving doesn’t always mean a huge bowlful. Demonstrate to your kids how much a serving of cereal is by measuring it with a measuring cup or food scale.

The macronutrients listed below the calorie information tell you how many grams of carbohydrates, fats, and proteins are in the food you eat. Examine how many of those carbs come from added sugars. And stay clear of foods with high amounts of added sugar.

Fats are usually broken down into different classes. Some foods have saturated fats, unsaturated fats, and trans fats. Look at the label and see what fats you can find. Avoid foods with trans fats. And monitor your saturated fat intake.

Protein can be all over the food spectrum. Turkey, chicken, lean red meat, eggs, flax seeds, chia seeds, and nuts all are great sources. Show your family how to find the amount of protein in each serving of packaged food. Challenge yourselves to eat foods with at least six grams of protein per serving.

The added vitamins and mineral and list of ingredients are found at the bottom of the food label. Nutrients like iron, zinc, and folate are added to help you meet your daily recommendations.

When you look at the ingredients, check out what’s at the top of the list. The higher the position on the list of ingredients, the greater the amount is in the food. With foods like bread, granola bars, and pasta, make sure whole grains are at the top. Lots of whole grains are going to keep you full for longer.

  1. Practice Money Mindfulness

Kids shouldn’t be in charge of the checkbook, but they can play an important role in your family finances. Helping your children have a healthy relationship with money is one of the best life lessons you can teach them. Get kids in the habit of tracking their spending. And help them see the importance of saving money.

Show your kids how to create a simple budget for your household needs. Let them see where money comes from and what your family spends it on. You can have them read the bills that come in each month and keep track of grocery receipts. Your kids will feel proud of helping out and better understand the value of money.

  1. Sleep Well

Bedtimes aren’t just for kids. As a family, work on getting your recommended eight hours of sleep each night. Going to bed at a decent hour will help kids and parents get that done.

Remind your family (and yourself) that your body needs a good amount of sleep to be productive during the day. Talk about how recharged you feel after getting the rest you need. You can set an example of healthy sleep habits by winding down early and waking up on time.

It can be tempting to get up and watch TV when you can’t sleep. When your kids see you do this, they’re probably wondering if they can, too. Instead of watching movies on the couch when you’re feeling restless, try reading or meditating. It’ll help your mind settle down and get you to sleep in no time.

  1. Reward with Praise

When you notice your family members doing a great job, talk it up. Let your kids know you see their effort by praising their healthy behaviors. Words of encouragement and affirmation reinforce the healthy family habits.

Try not to reward healthy living by “breaking” your newly developed habits. By scrapping your hard work for an afternoon of binge eating and laying around, you can wind up undoing your efforts.

Instead, recognize attempts to keep healthy habits with praise. Tell your kids you are proud of them for making their health a priority. And encourage them to keep up the good work.

  1. Practice What You Preach with Parental Role Modeling

It’s a team effort to get healthy family habits off the ground. When your kids see you making changes, too, they’ll be more likely to follow suit. You can’t expect children to work on maintaining healthy habits when you don’t do your part.

Give your kids permission to respectfully correct your actions. If they suggest you get off the couch and go out for a walk with them, lace up your shoes and hit the pavement. If they remind you to make your bed, go make it.

Leading your family in healthy habits requires your participation. Show your kids how much these healthy family habits mean to you by practicing them. You’ll have more success at meeting your health goals as a family when you work as a team.

About the Author

Sydney Sprouse is a freelance science writer based out of Forest Grove, Oregon. She holds a bachelor of science in human biology from Utah State University, where she worked as an undergraduate researcher and writing fellow. Sydney is a lifelong student of science and makes it her goal to translate current scientific research as effectively as possible. She writes with particular interest in human biology, health, and nutrition.

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Blame your parents for your hairline. A lack of dimples? Your parents’ fault. The way your ear lobes connect to your head (or don’t) are also the responsibility of your parents. And, of course, there’s more you can’t see in the mirror. Your family health history is embedded in you because that’s what your parents passed down. It encompasses the health issues of your blood relatives. The shared genes, and, in some cases, environment and habits, make health outcomes similar throughout a family.

And this history provides insights you and your doctor can use to help you maintain your health. The knowledge you acquire creates potential roadmaps for your future. That’s the biggest reason your family health history is more important than the few lines on a form at the doctor’s office.

So, don’t wait for your next appointment to think about your family health history. The guide below will help you start gathering this important information for your health.

Guide to Gathering Your Family Health History

Obviously, this part could take some time. And, depending on how you feel about talking to your family, some energy. But don’t worry. This step-by-step guide will help you get through the process as painlessly as possible.

  1. Decide who you need to talk to: The general rule is three generations of blood-related family (on your mother’s and father’s side) make up a complete history. That includes:
    • Grandparents
    • Parents
    • Aunts and uncles
    • Siblings
    • First Cousins
    • Your children

That seems like a lot of people whose health history you need. But remember, you only need to do this for blood relatives. No step-siblings or stepparents. Nobody who married into your family. Hopefully that simplifies the process and trims the number of potentially intense conversations you need to have.

  1. Focus on the information you need most: You don’t need to talk to your grandma about how much she weighed at 25. And put the tape measure away because you don’t need to check your sister’s height.

The more you know, the better. But you don’t need to collect spreadsheets—plural—of data.  Don’t track your family’s personal measurables (height, weight, speed) like a sports team sifting through potential players. Focus on these questions to collect the most critical information:

    • What significant medical issues have they faced? (This includes diseases and even major injuries.)
    • At what age did these issues start? (Knowing when they were diagnosed with an issue tells a lot about what you can expect and whether something is hereditary.)
    • For relatives who have passed, what was the cause of death?
    • What’s your family’s ethnic background? (Some issues are specific to an ethnicity or carry increased risks in certain populations.)
    • How has the environment they lived in impacted their health?
    • What mental health issues have they dealt with? (This includes everything from addiction to anxiety and depression.)
    • Is there a history of complications with pregnancy? If so, what were they?
    • What lifestyle habits have they participated in? (Heavy drinking, smoking, drug use, or healthy habits, like marathon running, can shed some light.)
  1. Decide the best place or way to talk to your family members. Use family events, like reunions, to talk about health history or set up times to call or email about it in the future. Talking face-to-face is always a good option. But sometimes the impersonal nature of email provides enough removal to allow honest conversation.
  2. Approach each conversation by explaining why you want this information. There’s a reason why health privacy laws exist. Discussing health issues is delicate and intensely private. Not everybody wants people to know they dealt with a medical issue or experienced mental-health problems. Letting your family members know how important it is to know this information is a good start.

If you can get everybody onboard, it’s also possible to share your collected information with your family. That way you aren’t just doing the family health history for you, but completing some of the work for others, too. But don’t share any information with others unless you have explicit permission to do so.

  1. Be a good, respectful listener. Make the conversations as simple or expansive as the family member wants. Sometimes that means asking to-the-point questions and getting simple answers. Other times you might have a longer discussion where your relative opens up a lot. Listen. Be supportive. And thank them for their time after you’ve wrapped up the conversation.
  2. Keep an easily updated electronic record. There are forms and tools to help simplify the process of gathering and tracking your family health history. Seek them out and use them. Most are free. And they offer a fill-in-the-blanks approach that makes it easy. Once you have a document of your own, remember to update it regularly.
  3. Don’t get discouraged by obstacles. This process, like life, isn’t likely to be perfectly smooth. But there are usually still ways to get what you need. Here’s some common obstacles and how to get around them:
    • Deceased relatives: If nobody in your family knows the health history of someone who has passed, public records can help. Death certificates are typically available to the public. Obituaries can shed light on the circumstances of a person’s death. Some family medical records could be acquired, too.
    • Adoption: If the adoption is open and the person is in contact with the biological parents, a conversation will suffice. But if that’s not the case, adoption records or the adoption agency might be the best resources available.
    • Estrangement: Use the family members you have connection with to reach out to those who you don’t. If your doctor will send out questionnaires, that is an option to explore. And turning to available records is another way to get what you need.

Remind Yourself Why Health Knowledge is Power

Following the steps above will guide your process. But knowing what to do and having the motivation to do it are two very different things.

Sometimes it’s hard to get in contact. Or your relatives may not be as forthcoming as you’d like. During those times, give yourself a reminder of why you’re collecting the family health history.

It all comes down to building the biggest base of knowledge possible. The bigger the data set, the better the predictive capabilities. But even the most extensive health history will not tell your future.

It’s not like glancing into a crystal ball. Health is a complex web. Lots of factors are involved in every health outcome. So, just because your family has a history of an issue, that doesn’t doom you. And you aren’t free and clear because you don’t see a problem on your family health history.

But knowing what has happened allows you and your doctor to monitor, test, and adjust your lifestyle. It can help you understand what risks you might be dealing with. That knowledge can shape a life that does everything to reduce the potential of encountering the same issues.

Some genetic disorders may require testing at specific intervals. There could be situations where early detection of a condition is easier and plays a big role in treatment options. The effectiveness of some drugs is even tied to genetics. And it’s important to know what you may pass to your children.

Your family health history also draws your doctor’s attention to important places. If more than one blood relative has a condition, that’s a place to focus medical or lifestyle interventions.

Use Your Family Health History to Fuel Action in Your Present

Information is nothing without intervention. That’s the action that makes the information so valuable.

This action takes different forms. Some will lead to tests for diseases that can be inherited. Others could be dietary, nutritional, or fitness-related.

For example, if you have a family history of heart problems, it’s even more important for you to monitor your blood pressure, heart rate, blood composition, and live a heart-healthy lifestyle. This information might make it easier for you to opt for the side salad instead of fries. It might even push you to hop on the bike or go for a walk.

The most important thing is to use what you know. Your healthcare provider can help you know how to act on your family health history. But you have to put in the effort.

While you stare in the mirror at the nose your parents stuck you with, remember the other things they passed on. And start doing something about them. Because—outside of costly, painful measures—there’s nothing you can do about your nose. But there’s plenty you can do about your health.

https://ghr.nlm.nih.gov/primer/inheritance/familyhistory

https://parkridgehealth.com/blog/entry/how-your-familys-medical-history-affects-your-health

https://learn.genetics.utah.edu/content/basics/observable/

https://www.cdc.gov/genomics/famhistory/famhist_basics.htm

https://www.healthline.com/health/family-health-history-day

https://www.cdc.gov/genomics/famhistory/famhist_chronic_disease.htm

https://www.aafp.org/afp/2008/0601/p1553.html

https://www.cdc.gov/genomics/famhistory/knowing_not_enough.htm?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Ffeatures%2Ffamilyhealthhistory%2Findex.html

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK115560/

https://www.militaryonesource.mil/health-wellness/healthcare/why-it-s-important-to-know-your-family-s-medical-history

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/medical-history/art-20044961

Habits take a long time to form, and aren’t easily altered overnight. Why should intelligent eating be any different? Food cravings are powerful! Even if you start to eat healthier, how can you actually enjoy healthier foods?

Like any life change, it’s a process. You need to not only change your diet, but your thinking around how to love eating healthy. And that doesn’t just mean what’s going on in your head. You need to start thinking of your stomach as a second brain—and feed it wisely.

You’re probably aware eating healthy has numerous health benefits. Increased energy, maintaining a healthy weight, a healthy heart, and having the building blocks for your whole body. The problem isn’t in knowing the benefits of eating healthy. It’s learning how to make yourself like healthy food. You can figure out how to love eating healthy by answering a few questions.

How Can I Practice Intelligent Eating When It’s So Hard?

Alright, so going cold turkey isn’t always the best approach to quitting something. You can’t just give up fried chicken, burgers, and pizza every night and expect to jump into a plate of kale. You would most likely fail. You also can’t expect to ease into a new habit without a plan to adjust your tastes and habits.

Changing your preferences to healthier options has a few roadblocks. Some are a function of the busyness of modern life. A trip to the grocery store or farmers market won’t mean much after work when you’re tired and stressed out. The fast-food drive-through can just be too tempting.

Other roadblocks come built into the human body. Example: Your taste buds are often subject to a process called neophobia. This is a fear of trying new or different things.

Like a lot of hang ups around food, there’s an evolutionary component to this process. Our ancestors didn’t always know which foods were healthy, and which foods might kill them. Once they found a food source wasn’t harmful, our ancestors would develop a taste for it. Eventually they might even enjoy it.

Most people aren’t foraging for food these days. So, you don’t have to worry about consuming something mysterious and potentially poisonous. But, the evolutionary defense mechanism remains.

There’s good news, though. First, eating spinach won’t kill you. And second, the more you eat a certain type of food, the more you acquire a taste for it. Even to the point of enjoyment.

You can also pair new foods with your old favorites. Maybe even replacing an unhealthy food with ingredients that are better for you. Instead of mayonnaise on your next sandwich, try spreading avocado. Instead of getting the meat lover’s pizza, try the vegetarian. If you start eating healthier foods with favorites you already enjoy, you’ll find that the new, healthy foods might start being tasty by association.

What Exactly is a Healthy Diet?

Whether or not you are actually on a strict diet, you need to eat a mix of healthy, nutrient-rich foods. Start with whole fruits and vegetables. Half of what you eat should be made up of these nutritious plants. And vegetables should take up the larger share. Whole grains and lean protein should make up the other half, with grains taking up the larger portion. This is followed by a side of dairy like cheese, milk, or yogurt. If you follow this general outline every day, you should receive a foundation of necessary nutrients.

More important than nailing the ratios of healthy food groups though, is to control your portions and limit your intake of overly processed foods. Chips, cookies, soda, frozen dinners, fast food, and the like can all contain unhealthy amounts of sugar, fat, and salt.

A diet high in fat and rich in sugar is harder for your body to process on many levels. Sugar tastes great, but doesn’t do much to curb hunger. So, it takes an awful lot of sugary, processed foods to make you feel full. Fat and sugar also trigger the pleasure receptors in the brain.

For many of our distant ancestors, it was rare to come across calorie-dense foods. Those they found would provide much needed sustenance, and any calories the body didn’t convert to quick energy was stored as fat for future use. Gorging on sweets and fats whenever they were available gave humans an evolutionary advantage.

Now, this process works against us. Foods high in sugar and fat are everywhere, and, instead of feasting, the challenge now is to limit your intake. That means paying attention to those ingredient labels!

Better yet, try to eat whole and fresh foods as often as possible. You don’t have to search an ingredient label when you buy fresh produce, meat, and fish in the store. That’s because there are no added ingredients. When it comes to grains, try to stick with whole grains like whole wheat, oatmeal, and brown rice.

How Do Healthy Foods and the Gut-Brain Axis Combine to Create Intelligent Eating?

A remarkable amount of research has recently expanded on the links between the brain and microbiome. There isn’t just evidence a healthy microbiome can influence weight and help deal with occasional stress. It may play a role in regulating mood and maintaining overall health.

There is a vast network of millions of nerves and chemical interactions that connect the gut to the brain. This is commonly referred to as the gut-brain axis.

The vagus nerve is one of the biggest nerves connecting your gut and brain. Signals travel in both directions along this pathway, from the gut to the brain and back. Research has shown these signals can be impacted by hormones and by what’s happening in your gut. That includes what kind of bacteria you’re cultivating with your diet. Since changing your diet changes the type of bacteria in your gut, you can help maintain the efficiency and health of this important connection.

Here’s an example of how diet can impact your gut-brain axis.

Some of the chemicals produced in your gut are called short-chain fatty acids (SCFA). Among the most important for the gut-brain axis are butyrate and propionate. These SCFAs (and many others) are the product of gut bacteria fermenting fiber. So, by eating more fiber-rich fruits and vegetables, it can help your body make SCFAs.

And that’s a good thing because these short-chain fatty acids help provide energy to the cells of your colon. There’s also evidence that butyrate helps in forming the blood brain barrier. Some studies have even shown butyrate to have a role in maintaining neurological health.

Meanwhile, an increase in propionate in the gut has been shown to lower the amount of activity in the pleasure centers of the brain when exposed to high energy, unhealthy food. Scientists detected considerably weaker electrical impulse activity in the nervous systems of test subjects that had higher fiber diets. Because there was less of a reward response in the brain, they literally found the unhealthy food less appealing!

Reducing your enjoyment of junk food isn’t the only way supporting your gut-brain axis with diet could help you manage your weight. The flora in your gut can also play a large role.

There are literally trillions of microbes in your gut. Two of the most important are Firmicutes and Bacteroidetes. Studies have shown that these two play a significant role when it comes to managing weight.

Consuming high amounts of fat and sugar tends to boost the levels of Firmicutes, while limiting the presence of Bacteroidetes. With that dietary pattern, it might not be surprising that higher levels of Firmicutes have been detected in the microbiomes of obese people.

But the gut microbiome isn’t fixed. When obese people ate diets lower in fat and sugar, they lost weight. And, sure enough, samples of their microbiomes would reveal a decrease in Firmicutes and an increase in Bacteroidetes.

What are Some Tips for Learning How to Love Eating Healthy?

Your best bet is to start small, slow, and to have a plan. Here are six tips to get you started.

  1. Once or twice a week, plan a meal with a healthy vegetable you’ve never tried before, and experiment with how you prepare it. Sure, you may not like steamed broccoli. But what if it’s sautéed in a bit of olive oil, and tossed with sea salt, fresh ground pepper, and lemon juice? Swiss chard may not be your thing, but use sautéed leaves for a filling in enchiladas, or even raw in a smoothie? You might make a delicious discovery. And, remember, cooking at home is always better (for your health and for your wallet) than going out to eat.
  2. Next time you have a salad, try making a simple vinaigrette. Mix up olive oil, vinegar, and whole-grain mustard—three parts oil to one part vinegar with a dab of mustard works best. You’ll be skipping the bottled salad dressing that most likely has a lot of extra sugar and calories.
  3. Instead of buying sweetened cereal or yogurt, simply add your own fresh fruit. You’ll find it’s just as tasty, and you’ll feel good about the choice.
  4. Feed your microbiome. Some of the best foods for increasing healthy gut bacteria are high in fiber and those rich in omega-3 fatty acids like fish and eggs. Maybe skip the processed smoked salmon or lox, and try grilling salmon with olive oil and fresh herbs on top.
  5. Try introducing probiotics into your diet. Probiotics are foods that contain active microorganisms. When you consume these foods, you introduce healthy bacteria into your gut that can help maintain a healthy balance of microbes to support gut health. Common probiotic foods include yogurt, kombucha, kefir, kimchi, sauerkraut, and sourdough bread.
  6. Grow a garden. Nothing quite beats the taste of a fresh-off-the-vine heirloom tomato you watched grow all summer. It’s not really fair to compare homemade pesto to the store-bought version either. You can get a real sense of accomplishment that comes with growing your own food, too. And kids might be more likely to sample the literal fruits of their labor. If you don’t have the yard space for a garden, you can grow some plants and herbs in smaller pots and containers. If that doesn’t work, try hitting the farmers market, or signing up for community garden.

So, now you’ve learned tips about how to love eating healthy. It’s not easy to switch your food cravings to healthier options, and it takes repetition and commitment. Luckily, the steps aren’t complex. It all comes down to making newer food palatable for you.

But you can only figure out what you enjoy if you keep trying new things. The internet is your friend here. For every type of new food, there are a hundred different recipes to explore. Pick one and start your intelligent eating journey today.

https://www.cdc.gov/obesity/data/prevalence-maps.html

https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/nutritionsource/healthy-eating-plate/

https://www.choosemyplate.gov/

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-sugar-and-fat-trick-the-brain-into-wanting-more-food/

https://microbewiki.kenyon.edu/index.php/Gut_Microbiota_and_Obesity

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4756104/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26868600

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27169834

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11297721

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25207649

Little ones love their independence. They feel empowered when a decision is theirs to make. So, give kids lots of opportunities to learn how to make healthy lifestyle choices. You can help, too. That’s because children look to their parents and mentors for direction. And it’s important to help set them up for success in many aspects of their health.

Teaching your children to make healthy choices doesn’t need to be complicated or daunting. Easy-to-manage, simple adjustments to your current routine are all you need to keep your kids on track. Working on healthy decision making as a family is also a great way to reinforce the principles of healthy living for children.

If you need ideas for introducing healthy living concepts to kids, try to focus on these five high-impact areas:

  1. Eating a fiber-rich diet
  2. Enjoying kid-friendly exercises
  3. Getting adequate sleep
  4. Keeping good mental health in mind
  5. Developing a safe, responsible relationship with electronic devices

Kids are like sponges. They soak up new information and learn quickly. Below, you’ll find ideas and tips to help you teach kids about making smart decisions for overall health. Before you know it, your kids will be empowered to choose healthy options on their own.

Find Ways To Help Your Kids Eat More Fiber

Kids need balanced meals and snacks to power their play and support their growth. Fiber-rich foods are the key to lasting energy for fueling days of fun. Adults already know the importance of fiber. Once you’ve reached adulthood, you’ve heard “eat more fiber” too many times to count. So, pass along your wisdom and show your kids why they need it, too.

It’s starts with a simple fact: without fiber, it’s a lot harder to properly digest the food you eat. A child’s body (like any adult’s) needs adequate fluids and fiber to support health digestion. When the digestive system runs low on fiber, constipation and discomfort could be on the horizon. And it’s hard to run around and play with stomach discomfort.

Supporting healthy digestion isn’t all. Fiber-packed foods keep kids satisfied after a meal. It promotes feelings of fullness and helps keep children from overeating. With fiber, your kids get consistent amounts of energy without making them crash from a sugar high. This helps kids play or learn longer with steady energy.

Help your kids see how much fiber they need each day. Daily recommended amounts of fiber are different for every age group. The simplest way to calculate the amount of daily fiber needed is age plus five grams. This means that a three-year-old needs eight grams of dietary fiber daily.

Reading the nutrition label for a favorite packaged food is probably the last thing on a child’s mind. But you can show them where to look to find how much fiber is in their meal or snack. Help children choose fiber-rich foods to help them meet their daily fiber needs.

Fiber is an important part of many yummy foods and snacks that kids already love. Berries and nuts are excellent sources of fiber. Apples, beans, oranges, pears, peas, and whole grains are all kid-friendly fiber foods. Eating foods with lots of fiber has an added bonus. Since fiber is found naturally in fruits and veggies, fiber-rich foods are loaded with vitamins and nutrients. So, take the chance to explain to your kids why fiber is important and show them how good it can taste.

You can even sneak extra fiber into the occasional baked good or treat. Do this by replacing white flour with whole wheat flour in recipes or adding more fruits and veggies into sauces and other dishes. Adjustments like these will go a long way to meeting your child’s fiber needs.

A great way to help ensure kids eat the fiber they need is to provide five age-appropriate servings of fruits and veggies daily. When kids are good at consuming their fruits and veggies and other whole fiber-rich foods daily, there’s no real need to count fiber grams.

Make Exercise Fun for Your Kids (and for You)

Kids are already experts at moving and grooving. They run, jump, climb, and play all day long—this makes regular exercise a natural next step for little ones to tackle.

Exercise that seems like play is a great way to encourage kids to be active. And it doesn’t require a trip to the gym for kids to get moving. They can head to the park or the playground instead.

The best kid-friendly exercises should include elements of flexibility, strength, and endurance.

Games of tag and foot races are good for teaching kids about agility and speed. Sports like soccer, basketball, and running help little ones focus on endurance. Yoga and tumbling reinforce flexibility.

Kids can flex their strength on the monkey bars or jungle gym. Jumping rope, riding on a teeter-totter, and pushing friends on the swing set are other fun strength-building activities.

But don’t let their eagerness to play keep them from exercising safely. Kids can get hurt while they play just like adults do. That’s why it’s important to teach children how to protect their little muscles and joints from injury.

Encourage your kids to warm up and stretch before a play session. This can take the form of a walk to the park, or a short yoga sequence. Also, avoid dehydration by keeping plenty of water on-hand. Check in frequently with children so they don’t ignore any signs of injury.

One of the best things you can do is let your kids see you exercise. Show them how important activity is to health. Making workouts a family affair will also help kids develop lasting interest in health and fitness. It even makes it easier to give kids the support they need to try new ways of moving. So, get out and play together and have fun exercising as a family.

Support Healthy Sleep Habits With Bedtime Routines

Children thrive with routines, which comes in handy when it’s time to get to sleep. That’s because a predictable bedtime routine can be a game changer for getting your little ones the sleep they need.

Studies have shown adequate sleep has several positive impacts for children and teens. Attention, memory, and behavior show up often. But many aspects of mental and physical health have been shown to improve when kids get enough sleep.

But what’s the right amount of sleep? Recommended amounts vary by age group. Here is a breakdown:

Age (years) Sleep time (hours/day)
1-2 11-14
3-5 10-13
6-13 9-12
14-18 8-10

These recommendations can help you assess how your child is doing in the sleep department. Try to create a bedtime routine to help them meet their daily sleep needs.

For young children, make the hour before bed loving and calm. Taking a bath, turning down the lights, and reading a story or two helps children transition from playtime to bedtime. And don’t forget, consistency is key for successful bedtime routines.

Older children and teens benefit from regular bedtimes, too. Going to bed at a similar time each night helps ensure your teens log enough sleep. Teens should also turn off electronic devices 30-minutes-to-one-hour before bedtime. Blue light from phone, tablet, and TV screens make it harder for the brain to wind down for bed.

If dental care is not part of your bedtime routine, then add it today. Taking care of your teeth is critical to your overall health. And it’s easiest to remember to do it before bed and right after your kids wake up.

If you want your kids to follow a regular bedtime schedule, then you should also follow one. If children see you sticking to a normal bedtime, they will be more likely to follow. In this case, leading by example also helps you get the sleep you need to deal with your well-rested, energetic children.

Teach Kids How to Prioritize Their Mental Health

Everybody experiences emotional ups and downs—even kids. That’s why it’s important to help children build a foundation of good mental health to carry them through times of worry or fear.

Kids should understand they need to take care of their minds and bodies equally. Feelings of worry, anxiety, sadness, and fear are all part of growing up. So, let your kids know they can come to you if something is troubling them.

Emotional wellness encourages kids to feel positively about themselves and others. It will help kids have happier relationships. They’ll also feel excited and interested in new adventures. Being mentally healthy helps kids get enough sleep and succeed in the classroom, too.

It all starts with open lines of communication. So, talk to your kids about recognizing changes in their social and emotional wellbeing. Make sure they know they can trust you when they’re feeling low. Words of support and praise from a loved one could be just the thing they need to start feeling better.

Also, overall health is a big, interconnected puzzle. You can promote your child’s mental health by helping them make smart diet and exercise choices. Wholesome foods and regular exercise are two of the best ways to help maintain a healthy mind.

Model Safe, Responsible Use of Electronic Devices

Digital devices are everywhere, and kids have easy access to them. Your kids might even be better at using a smartphone or tablet than you are. What they need from you is instruction on how to use devices responsibly.

Families can ensure their kids are safe online by supervising cell-phone and tablet use and sharing passwords. Try to establish open communication when it comes to the Internet. Help your child understand what’s appropriate for them to read, listen to, and watch. Tell them to be cautious and never share personal information online.

And it’s just as important to manage how much time kids spend logged into the digital world. Make escaping from screens and computers a priority. These off-screen experiences foster active play and imaginative thinking. Implementing these habits will help your family avoid the pitfalls of a digital world—like reduced sleep quality, unhealthy weight, and poor social skills.

Teach kids how to respect the boundaries you set around digital devices by taking breaks from technology yourself. Show children how much you enjoy time away from your phone by engaging with them one-on-one.

Find fun offline activities to do together. They’ll love the solo attention and you’ll enjoy knowing your kids are developing a healthy relationship with electronic devices.

Start Now to Set Your Kids Up for Success

Making healthy choices is an important life skill that parents can teach their kids. Your example and guidance are enough to show them how to make their own good decisions. Lead your kids to a life of healthy living by teaching them how to make good choices for themselves today.

About the Author

Sydney Sprouse is a freelance science writer based out of Forest Grove, Oregon. She holds a bachelor of science in human biology from Utah State University, where she worked as an undergraduate researcher and writing fellow. Sydney is a lifelong student of science and makes it her goal to translate current scientific research as effectively as possible. She writes with particular interest in human biology, health, and nutrition.

https://www.webmd.com/children/features/digestive-health#1

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/fiber.html

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Supports-Childhood-Sleep-Guidelines.aspx

https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/exercise.html

https://www.verywellfamily.com/easy-exercises-for-kids-1257391

https://www.webmd.com/parenting/raising-fit-kids/move/family-fitness-ideas#1

https://raisingchildren.net.au/pre-teens/mental-health-physical-health/about-mental-health/teen-mental-health

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/childrens-health/in-depth/screen-time/art-20047952

https://www.verywellfamily.com/tips-for-limiting-electronics-and-screen-time-for-kids-1094870

It’s game night, and your turn is up next. You hold your breath. Your palms sweat. You eye your next move and go for it. The next wooden block slides out, but the tower wobbles. The crowd of players around you shout in protest. And then the game’s tower crumbles.

JENGA!

What does a game of Jenga have to do with your social health? Think about each wooden Jenga block as components of your wellness. They’re the pieces—physical, nutritional, emotional health, and so on—that come together holistically to give you a healthy sense of self and well-being.

Now think back to the last block you pulled, the move that decimated the whole tower. That piece represents your social health. And it proved to be so vital that the entire tower—or, your wellness—rested on it. Removing this essential block makes the tower crash down.

As you’ll understand shortly, social health really is that important. That’s because it’s a strong predictor of overall health and well-being. Social health can provide you with a network of support that helps fend off loneliness, provides a sense of belonging in your community, and even helps protect your physical health.

If you want your tower of wellness to withstand the test of time, it’s important to think about how to fortify its building blocks. And that’s especially true for social health.

The good news is there are plenty of ways to build and maintain your social health to create a firm foundation for everything else. So, find out what you can do to boost your social health, and in turn, your overall wellness.

How Social Health Predicts Health Over a Lifetime

The Harvard Study of Adult Development is a rich, long-running study on health and happiness. In 1938, the study recruited over 700 teenaged men from neighborhoods around Boston. These men were followed over the decades. Researchers administered surveys to take various measurements that helped researchers learn about subjects’ health status.

More recently, the researchers recruited the original participants’ wives and children. These additions created even more robust data, ready to be mined for gems of wisdom. So, what have the researchers learned from nearly 80 years of in-depth data collection? Let’s turn to recent study directors Robert Waldinger and George Vaillant for the answers.

Both give simple, profound takeaways from their study. Vaillant said, “…the key to healthy aging is relationships, relationships, relationships.” Waldinger, the study’s current director, added that, “The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.”

The researchers found relationship satisfaction at middle age is a stronger predictor of physical health than cholesterol levels.

If that wasn’t strong enough, Waldinger emphasized the importance of social health even more: “Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism.”

So, in a way, taking care of your personal relationships is an indirect way of taking care of yourself. Need more assurance of the strong connection between relationships and health outcomes? Take a closer look at the data.

The Lead Weight of Loneliness

Most of what’s known about social health and its relation to physical health outcomes were borne out of studies involving adults. But focusing on this age group alone excludes those on either end of the lifespan. Surely social connection plays a large role in the well-being of considerably younger and older people.

A group of researchers set out to investigate that idea. They were interested in determining the effect of social factors over the lifespan. How does your social network affect your overall health—specifically mental health—in adolescence, adulthood, and as a senior?

The researchers measured three factors and found they were all strong predictors of mental health outcomes throughout each life stage. These predictors—the potential Jenga blocks or lack thereof in your wellness tower—were social isolation, social connection, and social trust.

Researchers studying social health defined social isolation as, “disengagement from social ties, institutional connections, or community participation.” Participants took a survey rating statements like: “I often feel very lonely”; “I do not have anyone I can confide in”; and “I often need help from other people but cannot get it.” Those with higher scores for these statements experienced greater isolation.

Social connection was defined as the opposite of social isolation. This means social ties exist and are maintained to a degree, as do connections to the larger community and institutions. Researchers measured social connection through ratings on statements like: “I enjoy the time I spend with people who are important to me”; “When I need someone to help me out, I usually find someone”; and “There is someone who can always cheer me up when I’m down.” Higher scores meant greater social connection.

Lastly, social trust was defined as “self-assurance in the honesty, integrity, and reliability of others.” This was measured by rating: “Most people you meet keep their word”; “Most people you meet make arrangements honestly”; and “Generally speaking, most people can be trusted.” Higher scores here meant a deeper social trust. This meant social ties that were deeply trusted had a greater influence on a participant’s health.

Researchers compared these scores to participants’ mental health scores. These were determined based on their ratings of statements on their sense of calm, peacefulness, nervousness, and whether they felt happy or depressed.

The principal finding of the study was that all social predictors had strong associations with mental health scores across each age group. But there were important differences by age:

Younger People

Social connection was the strongest predictor for adolescents. When young people have strong social ties and a sense of community, they report better mental health status. The opposite is true for social isolation. Young people who feel isolated experience a decline in their mental-health status.

Older Adults

Social trust is the main driver for this group. If older individuals can’t trust their relationships, their mental health suffers. For the elderly population in particular, this makes sense when considering their dependence on others to maintain wellness. As adults age, their social networks naturally, and perhaps drastically, decline from the deaths of friends, family, and acquaintances. As the circle shrinks, the influence of remaining relationships increases. So, if those connections aren’t trustworthy, social and mental health of the individual will deteriorate.

Additionally, older adults who experience the isolation of a shrinking social network can see many negative physical effects:

  • Rising cortisol levels (the stress hormone) in the body.
  • Increasing risk for major health issues.
  • Intensifying the difficulty of everyday tasks like grooming and eating balanced meals.

It’s clear, no matter your age, the state of your social health greatly influences your mental health, and therefore, overall wellness. There are many ways to stave off isolation, stay connected, and strengthen your social ties. Perhaps the most obvious lies in your committed relationships. 

The Many Social Health Merits of Marriage and Partnership

Researchers repeatedly find connections between marriage and lowered risk for a variety of health issues. Among married study participants, researchers have found lower mortality rates and cardiovascular issues. Additionally, married people are less likely to experience depression, and are more likely to survive major disease diagnoses longer than their unmarried counterparts.

On the face of it, this might seem like chance. How could a simple lifestyle decision influence health status so profoundly? Upon closer look, there are many strong theories that are holding up to scientific inquiry:

  • Social health is associated with better overall health. This easily translates to married partnerships. Investing time, energy, and effort into a close bond strengthens the social connection you have to that person. This investment creates a mutually beneficial support system to catch you when life gets tough. Consider the example of a major disease diagnosis. If a spouse receives the devastating news, the burden is shared by two people rather than one. There is someone to lean on emotionally and logistically. Getting to appointments, making meals, and sharing household duties when sick eases the load and likely elevates the chance of full recovery.
  • Happiness boosts immunity. Researchers have found those in happy, satisfying relationships tend to have a stronger immune system. This is often explained by the effect of cortisol levels—a measure of stress—on immunity. Cortisol levels tend to be lower in married persons versus those who are single.
  • Married people may take fewer risks. This may look like eating a balanced diet, participating in regular physical activity, or even keeping regular doctor appointments. Additionally, evidence shows married people tend to adhere to medical recommendations following those appointments.

There’s more. Much of the research on the connection between marriage and health are focused solely on married individuals. This leaves out those who are in long-term, committed relationships, sharing a home and finances. Those who cohabitate in this way, but choose not to get married, still reap the benefits of this close social tie.

Researchers studied a group of Canadians who were either single, cohabitating, married, divorced, or widowed. They found that, in regard to health, those who cohabitate were better off than those who were single. However, married individuals were still better off than cohabitators. Interestingly, when the researchers controlled for selection effects (a health effect seen in those who choose to be married), the difference between the health of cohabitators and married individuals lost its significance. This reinforces that it’s not the type of union that influences health status. Instead, the closeness of cohabitation and marriage both offer protective health effects.

It’s important to note that while marriage is an important factor in social health and overall health, not all committed relationships are happy or positive. It’s possible to be single and not feel isolated. Likewise, it’s possible to be surrounded by a social network and still experience loneliness. The bond alone doesn’t lend the benefits—the quality of the bond is equally important.

Strengthening Your Social Health

You’re probably familiar with the other strong predictors of good health throughout life. These include behaviors like abstinence from smoking, responsible alcohol use, regular physical activity, and a healthy diet. While these tend to be obvious, they’re often difficult to do or maintain, especially when genetics and life’s inevitable, unpredictable stressors are taken into account.

Perhaps this is why being aware of the strong connection between social connection and health is so compelling. This facet of health is something most of us have, or can have, a firm handle on with relative ease.

Most people grow up in a network of social connections. That could consist of your nuclear and extended family, or your schoolmates. The difficulty isn’t necessarily having a network, but maintaining it. And now, armed with information, you have the motivation to do so.

But if you need a nudge in the right direction, consider the following ideas for maintaining social health:

  • Join a club. This can be online or in-person. There is a plethora of clubs organized by interest on MeetUp.com. Whether it’s for hiking enthusiasts, wine lovers, or crafty folks, there’s a group for you. Joining up with people to participate in a common interest is a great way to develop deep social ties, since you’re likely to share similar values.
  • Find a pen pal. It can be someone you know, have lost touch with, or is a stranger. No matter what, flexing those writing muscles in the name of connection goes a long way. You can even do it in service of a cause. Visit More Love Letters and view “The Letter Requests.” Here you can contribute to a bundle of letters from others across the world to one person in need. You don’t have to know someone intimately to establish a social tie and reap the benefits of connecting with them.
  • Volunteer. There’s likely a number of organizations in your area that would benefit from your time. If you find the right fit, you’ll feel a sense of purpose and connect with others while serving your community.

Life Can’t Tackle This Wellness Tower

You have all of the blocks for good social and overall health. They’re the things that serve your well-being: social connection, potential partnership, and a sense of belongingness in your community. And now you have tools and knowledge to put those blocks to use. Sometimes it might take a little planning and rearranging to fortify your wellness tower, but the effort is worth it.

Once you get your pieces in place, there’s no push, prod, or poke that could topple your tower. Take that, Jenga!

About the Author

Jenna Templeton is a health educator and freelance science writer living in Salt Lake City, Utah. After receiving a bachelor of science degree in chemistry from Virginia Tech, Jenna spent five years as a research scientist in the nutritional industry. This work fueled her interest in personal wellness, leading her to pursue a graduate degree in Health Promotion & Education from the University of Utah. Outside of work, Jenna enjoys live music, gardening, all things food, and playing in the Wasatch mountains.

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Your brain is a mystery only it can solve. Unraveling the riddle of how your body’s command center works—perception, the formation of thoughts, memory creation, and more—might seem like daunting, headache-inducing work.

But your brain is up to the task. Every second of the day it takes in so much information. Then it links disparate parts to make a whole thought, decision, memory, or picture of your world. Your brain is the ultimate processing unit, taking facts—from senses, chemical messages, or other stimuli—and spitting out a conclusion.

So, if you’re going to demystify your brain, it’s probably best to lay out the facts first. And your amazing brain will do the rest of the work putting the puzzle together.

Here are 41 facts about brain anatomy, perception, thoughts, memory, and healthy habits for your brain:

All About Your Brain Anatomy and Structure

  1. Your brain, if you’re an adult, is about three pounds (1.4 kilograms) of firm-jelly-textured human computing power. And it’s surprisingly fatty—about 60 percent of the brain is fat.
  2. All your thinking, deciding, and processing drains about 20 percent of the total energy, oxygen, and blood in your body. So much power and so many resources for about two percent of your total weight. And delivering all that blood, oxygen, and nutrients requires almost 100,000 miles of blood vessels to be packed into your skull.
  3. Your brain did a lot of growing in your first year of life—when it tripled in size. But life shrinks your brain. After you hit middle age, your brain decreases in physical size as time passes.
  4. A bigger brain doesn’t mean anything. Physical size hasn’t been found to have any significant correlation with higher intelligence. In general, research has only found brain size to be responsible for around 10 percent of intelligence variability.
  5. You do have a left and right brain. That’s because it’s divided into two almost symmetrical—but not identical—hemispheres connected by the corpus callosum (a nerve bundle).
  6. Your brain is kind of cross-wired. The left side controls muscles on your body’s right side. The right side of your brain is responsible for pulling the strings on the muscles of your left side. It sounds confusing, but your brain has it figured out.
  7. The whole brain chips in for creativity and other mental tasks. So, artistic people aren’t really relying more on their right brain. Analytical people aren’t more left brained. Slight cognitive differences have been found in the hemispheres, but it’s not accurate to call yourself right brained, unless the left side has been removed.
  8. There are three major parts of the brain: the cerebrum, cerebellum, and brain stem.
  9. The cerebrum is the brain’s biggest part, accounting for 85 percent of its weight. It needs that size to handle a lot of survival tasks (movement, senses, temperature, and judgment). And the cerebrum also tackles higher-order operations—problem solving, reasoning, emotions, and learning.
  10. You can thank (or blame) your cerebellum for your posture and balance. And your brain stem handles a lot of processes you do without thinking. But they keep you alive—breathing and keeping your heart beating. The brain stem also shuttles information from your sensory organs, helps you swallow, and cough.

  1. Science also splits the brain up into four lobes: the frontal, parietal, occipital, and temporal lobes. Each lobe handles specific tasks. The frontal lobe tackles thinking tasks, as well as movement and short-term memory. Sensory information on touch and taste is processed in your parietal lobe. Your occipital lobe is all about processing and storing the information your eyes take in. The temporal lobe works on memory storage, smell, taste, and sound.
  2. That’s a lot information already. Does your head hurt? If it does, you can bet it isn’t actually your brain. It interprets signals from around the body, but feels no pain itself. You can even trace brain freeze to the blood vessels in your throat constricting from cold, not your actual brain.

How Your Brain Works and Communicates

  1. You use more than 10 percent of your brain. In fact, your whole brain is working most of the time. It has to. That’s the only way your complex body runs smoothly and you stay safe.
  2. The human brain is far better than the best computer ever created. It can handle a lot of information every second, and process it all faster than a computer. And that means A LOT of information—up to 10 to the 16th power every second.
  3. All that processing means information travels fast around your brain. Although the speed of information varies, it’s estimated info can ping around the brain at about 250 miles per hour (402 kilometers per hour).
  4. What makes all this speed and computing possible? Neurons. There are about one hundred billion—a one followed by 11 zeroes—of these nerve cells in your brain. They’re able to communicate with other neurons via chemical or electrical signals.
  5. Neurons are cells, but they have unique properties that set them apart from your other cells. And these physical differences help them do their job. Neurons have special branches on one end called dendrites and axons on the other. The dendrites receive information, while the axon on the other end sends the information to the next neuron.
  6. Synapses are the spaces between neurons where they come very, very close to touching in order to relay information. When you have a new thought or remember something, new synaptic connections are created.
  7. The chemical messengers of the brain are called neurotransmitters. That makes sense because your body makes these chemicals to literally transmit messages between neurons. You’ve probably heard of a few neurotransmitters like adrenaline, dopamine, and serotonin.

  1. Your brain isn’t the same as anyone else’s. Your experiences—including what happens to you and what you learn—wire your brain in a unique way. And that wiring continues to develop as you learn and experience more.
  2. The mechanics of the working brain are amazing. It allows you to do so many higher-order tasks (processes not tied to survival). But multitasking is still impossible. When someone says they’re multitasking, they’re alternating between higher-order tasks. They may do the switching quickly, but the tasks aren’t happening simultaneously.
  3. Your brain gets bored easily. Research has found that every 10 minutes you need something that sparks you emotionally to hit the reset button on your attention. If that 10-minute number sounds long, it’s because the human attention span (how long you can pay attention to a single thing) continues to shrink. It’s down to an average of eight seconds—down four seconds in just 15 years.
  4. Even if your brain gets bored, it never loses focus on survival. It’s your body’s command center, so survival is always the first priority. That means your brain constantly makes decisions about safety and solves problems to keep you safe. In nature, those fight-or-flight decisions may actually be lifesaving. But in modern life, the constant barrage of non-dangerous, but stressful situations trick your brain into survival mode. This can create unhealthy levels of stress.
  5. Your whole brain doesn’t sleep—not fully, at least. And your dreams are proof. Science doesn’t even know everything about dreams. But they’re thought to be a function of imagination, psychology, and neurology mixing together.

Shaping Perception and Thought in the Brain

  1. In a dream, you might perceive a fantastical environment or adventure. It’s your brain’s job to set your perception. It uses sensory data to paint a complete picture of your world. Perception isn’t as simple as collating sensory data, though. It’s more complex.
  2. Those brain-sensory complexities can create conditions like synesthesia. This is when your senses converge to layer a perception on one sense. A common example is when people see colors when they hear music.
  3. The reason perception can vary has everything to do with the brain’s interaction with sensory information. Take hearing as an example. Your ears collect sound waves. But your experience of hearing and listening is shaped in the brain. So, that’s why two people can have the same sound waves enter their ears, but think they hear something different. Like with the Laurel vs. Yanny viral sensation of 2018, if there’s any ambiguity, your brain uses your experiences to flesh out the phrasing to give you a perception of the sound. And that can be different for people.
  4. Brain researchers can watch you think. That’s because physically, thoughts show up in imaging as many neurons firing. There are still a lot of mysteries about how thoughts are formed and what processes are responsible, though. At a basic level, your brain connects different information to form a new mixture called a thought.

Making Memories

  1. You should be impressed by the brain’s ability to perceive the world and generate thoughts. But memory is just as amazing. It’s estimated your brain can store 2,500,000 gigabytes of information.
  2. You have two basic types of memory: short-term and—you probably guessed it—long-term memory.
  3. There’s a reason your short-term memory is also referred to as working memory. For the most part, it operates by allowing you to remember information long enough for you to use it. That’s why you can remember a phone number to dial it, but might forget it right after the call ends.
  4. Dredging up memories isn’t exactly like pulling a file from a folder. Your brain has to recreate and reimagine that memory. And it’s not a perfect copy of the original.
  5. The ability to look up any of the information in the world is great for everything except your memory. Your brain isn’t lazy, per se. But it’s very busy and prioritizes tasks that absolutely need to be done. So, if it knows you can look something up again, your brain may not store that tidbit of information.
  6. Pictures are powerful tools for memory. Studies have shown people retain 65 percent more information when images are involved.
  7. Science has a name for wisdom—all the situations and information you’ve experienced and stored. Scientists call it cognitive template.
  8. Want to help yourself remember information? Try these tips. Repetition helps. Repeating information really works. So does adding more context. That means stringing a few bits of information about a person with their name to help you remember it better. These associations strengthen memory. You can also try to pour information into your brain at a slower rate. A flood of information just won’t sink in, as well.

Facts About Habits to Maintain That Insanely Awesome Brain

  1. Water plays a big role in brain health and computing power. That’s because your brain is about 75 percent H2O. So, stay hydrated to keep your brain cranking full-steam ahead.
  2. Sleep is important to being your best self. You’ve been sleep deprived before. Did you have a banner mental day after your four hours of shut eye? Doubtful. Sleep is when your brain rests (but, as you know now, doesn’t completely shut down). A lack of sleep impacts information processing, attention, memory, mood, and logic.

  1. Your brain gets sleepy. So, if you crave a nap about 3 p.m., that’s normal. It’s just your brain trying to rest. Keep that in mind when you’re designing your daily schedule.
  2. Just because your brain likes naps and wants plenty of sleep that doesn’t mean it wants you to be sedentary. Actually, the opposite. Regular exercise supports brain health and cognition as much as your waistline.
  3. Don’t stress. Your brain doesn’t like it. Stress is bad for your overall health. But it can really cause problems with learning and many important aspects of cognition. Your brain can deal with short-term stresses. It was built to help you survive, after all. But hours of steeping in a stressful situation is bad for your brain. So, work on coping mechanisms that take you out of your long-suffering stressful state.

From Facts to Action

Now that you know a little bit more about your body’s command center, take care of it. You don’t need the knowledge of a neuroscientist to appreciate and pamper for your brain.

Do the things it likes—sleeping, learning, exercising—and avoid stress and behaviors that might harm it. And don’t forget to feed your brain the nutrients it needs by eating a diet full of fruits, vegetables, and good fats. Your brain is hungry for healthy foods, and knowledge. Continue to feed it both so it can stay happy and healthy.

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